Emotional Damage Telemetry
Certified tear metrics, refreshed live. Mariana-Trench-grade depth sensing.
Current streak
–
without an incident
All-time record
–
of unbroken serenity
Incidents on record
–
souls crushed & counting
Most dangerous crewmate
–
Incidents per month
Records from the pre-9000 era are incomplete. Historians disagree.
The Wall of Shame
A permanent public record of everyone who made Joe cry.
Incident Log
Poke Dodge 9000
The fingers are coming. Tap, click, or press space to keep Joe out of poking range.
